Black Flagged Online header image 1

Past Emails From the FanMail Inbox of Kenny Wallace

July 21st, 2008 · No Comments

From: Wallace, Rusty
Sent: Sunday, July 20, 2008 10:23 AM
To: FanMail@KennyWallace.com
Subject: Nice racing, buddy!

Hey little guy! I nearly forgot to tell you congratulations on a great race there Saturday. Sorry about that mix up on the guest list at the afterparty. Lots of people try to claim that kinship thing to get inside, so it’s just safer if I’m the only Wallace allowed in…

From: Helton, Michael
Sent: Monday, February 18, 2008 3:22 PM
To: FanMail@KennyWallace.com
Subject: Warning

You ever try to screw up my Daytona 500 again by qualifying in the top ten and I will hand you your ass on a platter!

[Read more →]

→ No CommentsTags: Indy

Week Off Means Team Building Exercise For NASCAR Staff; List What Fans Want. We want to know what you want too!

July 21st, 2008 · 3 Comments

Uploaded on July 23, 2006 by FreaksAnon on FlickrDuring the bye week, staff at NASCAR headquarters had a team building exercise where they brainstormed ideas about rule changes. They listed what they think fans want to see at the races. Black Flagged Online has obtained some of the ideas that were floated around in that meeting. Below are some of the ideas but we would also like to hear some of your ideas by posting comments:

1.) Let the drivers and crew members smoke. It would bring back the nostalgia of early fifties races and put the fans that smoke at ease about their own bad habits.

[Read more →]

→ 3 CommentsTags: Indy

Helton to Repackage Craftsman Truck Circuit as Busch Series… Kyle Busch Series

July 18th, 2008 · 2 Comments

Uploaded on May 10, 2008 by pamarama73 on FlickrWhen NASCAR’s second tier series changed sponsorship from Busch to Nationwide this season many fans decried the change and expressed sadness at the loss of the long time sponsor of the Series.  NASCAR has learned the hard way that fans are hesitant to accept change in the sport which values its traditions and heritage.  Previous efforts to introduce change into the sport have failed miserably while others have taken a while to catch on. For instance, fans have had a hard time warming up to new developments in the sport such as the Car of Tomorrow, TNT race coverage and fuel conservation efforts such as debris cautions. [Read more →]

→ 2 CommentsTags: Chicagoland

Ex Girlfriend Says Michael McDowell Voo Doo Doll Works Like A Charm

July 18th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Uploaded on February 13, 2008 by the Free Wheeling DaredevilThe driver of the double zero Toyota, Michael McDowell has had a tough 2008 season to say the least. McDowell’s highest qualifying position is 18th, has a highest finishing position of 21st and is a disappointing 39th in driver’s standings. On top of that, everyone remembers his hard qualifying crash at Texas earlier this year.

[Read more →]

→ 1 CommentTags: Chicagoland

Fat Sandy Dirtburger Wants To Know If Black Flagged Online Actually Has Fans

July 17th, 2008 · 5 Comments

An off week provides a wonderful opportunity for shameless self promotion and Black Flagged Online is never one to miss such a chance.  We have started a little vanity project for ourselves over at Facebook with a Fans of Black Flagged Online group:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=17841884935

I know we are making a leap and assuming that there are actually people out there that would publicly admit to being fans of this insanity but we thought we’d give it a shot.  We are a slightly crazy, opinionated and sometimes cruel bunch so we might as well organize and make ourselves a community of like-minded NASCAR fans.  Anyhoo, over at the group is a discussion board for us to chat about the issues of the day together, ya’ll can post pictures and videos and maybe you can even find you a friend or two.  Wouldn’t it be great if we were all friends and got to go to races together and tailgate?  Of course not, but that’s the beauty of social networking sites.  We can all meet and be friends in the introverted confines of the world wide web. 

If nothing else, at least go over and check out our new official logo which we debuted over there.  Go ahead and start saving your pennies because it won’t be long before you’ll be able to buy that coveted BFO t shirt or coozie you’ve been hankerin’ for. 

→ 5 CommentsTags: Chicagoland

This Happens To Me All The Time by Fat Sandy Dirtburger

July 16th, 2008 · 1 Comment

A lot of times I can feel their eyes burning right through me, undressing me, savoring every inch of my generous girth, dreaming of combing my back hair with their fingers, eating whipped cream out of places I haven’t been able to reach in years.  I’m talking about men who like what they see when old Fat Sandy meanders down the street.  I’m not gay myself but that don’t stop the boys from trying to take a slice out of old Sandy’s pie.  I don’t blame ‘em.  I’m a lot of man so there should be enough of me to go around for all. [Read more →]

→ 1 CommentTags: Chicagoland

Good Gravy Juan Pablo Is On A Tear

July 16th, 2008 · 1 Comment

The path of destruction that Juan Pablo Montoya leaves in his wake is growing by the day.  Crashing cars, talking trash, what could possibly come next? 

mms://216.55.142.117/RaceTalkRadioArchive/montoya.wma

Oh, got it.   You have no regard for human life. 

When will this nightmare end?  Show us mercy Juan Pablo.  We give up.  Just take whatever you want and leave.  If you need me I’ll be curled up in the fetal position trying to cut off my ears.

→ 1 CommentTags: Chicagoland

Third Busch Brother Critical of Kyle’s Deal with Devil

July 14th, 2008 · 2 Comments

Kevin Busch is speaking publicly for the first time about his brother Kyle’s deal with Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, the Dark One — also known as the Devil himself.

[Read more →]

→ 2 CommentsTags: Random

Larry Mac, We Need To Talk by Otis Featherbean

July 14th, 2008 · No Comments

What happened to the Larry Mac I used to know?  Remember Larry when we met in the garage at Richmond a couple of years ago?  Remember what you said to me?  I sure do.  You said “Son, you’ve had way too much do drink this early in the morning.  Why don’t you drink a couple of waters and sober up?”  I’ll never forget it.  The way your fatherly instincts kicked in to help me in my time of need.  Since that day Larry you have been my father figure of NASCAR.  Guiding me in your image and helping me steer clear of any NASCAR related B.S.  Well Larry, while your advice helped me immensely that fine September day, I hope you will indulge me and allow me to offer some advice to you in return. 

[Read more →]

→ No CommentsTags: Random

Tony Stewart Celebrates Team Ownership By Eating Shrimp Cocktail “With the Dirt Track” — Zippy hasn’t got the heart to tell him it’s poop

July 11th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Uploaded on July 15, 2006 by  Eli Hodapp on FLickrAs most of NASCAR Nation already knows, Tony Stewart has decided to leave Joe Gibbs Racing at the end of this season to take a 50 percent stake in Haas CNC Racing and drive for the team in 2009. To celebrate his new business venture, Tony Stewart partied with 100 of his closest friends at Captain Sully’s Shrimp Shack in Columbus, Indiana last night.

[Read more →]

→ 1 CommentTags: Chicagoland

Rich Folk Take A Shine To NASCAR by Harley “Splash and Go” Coe

July 11th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Well, folks, I’ve about reached the end of my rope.  There used to be one sanctum sanctorium for regular Americans, but now it seems that rich folk is fixin’ to invade NASCAR.  We might as well all pack it in because we all know what happens when the fancypants goofballs of the upper crust settle in.

[Read more →]

→ 1 CommentTags: Chicagoland

Updated Tradin’ and Hitchin Post

July 11th, 2008 · No Comments

Tradin’ Post

FOR SALE – NASCAR Race Team might be for sale if the right price is offered.  We have the most famous name in motorsports and a winning tradition.  We recently let our best driver leave via free agency and I have run the business into the crapper.  Will take best offer.  Call Teresa.

Wanted – Anybody out there who Haas any Tony Stewart gear.  It haas to be in fair condition.  I think he is going to be with Joe Gibbs Racing for the rest of his career and I want to get as much memorabilia as I can.  I’ll take whatever you haas.

[Read more →]

→ No CommentsTags: Chicagoland

The Insanity Has Stopped by Fat Sandy Dirtburger

July 11th, 2008 · No Comments

Someone finally turned off the faucet that resulted in the flood of open wheel drivers making the jump to NASCAR.  It’s not so simple after all is it guys?  The promise of more money, more fans and a higher profile turned out to be a pipe dream for some of the open wheel drivers hoping to cash in on NASCAR fame.  It seems like Helio Castroneves is content with the fame he achieved on Dancing With The Stars and won’t turn to NASCAR as a way to break into the hearts and minds of race fans. [Read more →]

→ No CommentsTags: Chicagoland

Dear Tony: Ownership Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be by Anonymous

July 9th, 2008 · 3 Comments

Dear Tony Stewart,

I hear congratulations are in order and that you are on your way to team ownership.  What a big move.  You must be excited.  I’m excited for you and wanted to write you this letter.  Unfortunately due to my fear of losing sponsors, employees and what is left of my pride I would prefer to remain anonymous.  I hope that doesn’t bother you.  While I won’t tell you who I am, I do want to tell you my cautionary tale of team ownership and bid you fair warning.  It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.  While I dreamed of checkered flags, my reality is black flags.  I dreamt of burnouts but all I got was my engines burning out.  Instead of smoking tires, I’m blowing out tires.  I can go on and on but I think you get my point.   [Read more →]

→ 3 CommentsTags: Chicagoland · Letters to Drivers

TNT Discovers How to Avoid Commercial Interruptions With More Commercials

July 9th, 2008 · No Comments

TNT revolutionized NASCAR broadcasting at the Coca-Cola 400 on Sunday by presenting the race without commercial interruption, by which we mean they presented the commercials without stopping to focus on things like the race.

“Shoot, I’m glad,” said viewer Brandt Kranstall.  “I have never in my life been so motivated to buy a Crunch Wrap Supreme!” [Read more →]

→ No CommentsTags: Chicagoland