He might come across to his beer-drinking buddies as an ordinary red-blooded, commie-hating, BBQ-loving, overweight redneck, but Dave S. Jefferson thinks that’s just what NASCAR needs.

“I’ve had enough of President Mike Helton, and I think NASCAR nation has, too,” Jefferson said from the crooked front porch of his North Carolina home. “It’s time for some new leadership. Consider me seceded.”

Starting with the 2008 season, Jefferson will launch a series of “shadow” pre-race drivers meetings at Waffle House restaurants all along the circuit. He’s encouraging drivers to forgo the weekly rules briefing from NASCAR president Mike Helton and join him for his version of how these meetings should be run.

“Mike Helton’s all about clean racing and new aero packages. My meetings are about whose turn it is to rough up Montoya and drinking a lot of booze with my kick-ass heroes of NASCAR.”

Johnson cites a laundry list of transgressions that led to his secession: Toyota’s participation in the Cup series, the Car of Tomorrow, revolving sponsorships, excessive driver penalties, and elimination of key races he once enjoyed at Rockingham and Darlington.

“NASCAR ain’t hardly an American sport anymore. You got Mexicans driving little rice burners loaded down with fancy safety equipment at tracks in California and New York. No one takes a Bud Shower after winning a race — they use French Champagne or Fanta. NASCAR is about as American as the United Nations. Shoot, pretty soon we won’t even HAVE winners. We’ll just give out 43 participation trophies.”

Johnson has invited any NASCAR driver who wishes to join him to come over to his house between testing and the Twins to discuss their political strategy. He’s cooking his famous Americaburgers on the backyard Weber and serving ice-cold beer.

“In my heart, I think drivers are a little sick of driving around without chewing tobacco sponsorships on their hoods and doing interviews with lady reporters. I think they’ll come around when they hear what I have to say.”

Last week, Jefferson unveiled his campaign slogan and poster, designed to raise awareness of his statements. The poster is a caricature of Mike Helton sandwiched between Hillary Clinton and Saddam Hussein. The three are crossed out, appropriately enough, by the Stars and Bars. Beneath the disturbing image is Jefferson’s slogan: “Don’t Tread on My Treads.”

Jefferson outlined an ambitious plan to this reporter for the early days of NASCAR nation under his presidency. “First off, all the races are going to be in North Carolina and states adjacent to it. You can have whatever sponsor you want, as long as it goes on the hood of an American-made, American-owned American car. NASCAR is going to be called NASCAR, races are going to be called NASCAR races, the championship is going to be called the NASCAR Cup, and the dude who has the most points at the end of the season will win it. Suck on that, Helton!”

Asked about the early ramifications of his decision, Jefferson had this to say: “America needs a change. But I shore am looking forward to Daytona.”