Some folks call Daytona the Super Bowl of racing. Some folks get jacked up about this newfangled “Race for the Chase.” Other folks have their favorite short tracks sprinkled throughout the Cup season. But once every year, NASCAR comes to the only location that is truly bigger for race fans than the track itself. It’s Mecca, it’s Heaven, it’s an orgasm of neon lights and casino chips that spurts free drinks all over your shirt front. It’s time, my children, for Las Vegas.

Now, this race is notable for a couple of reasons. One, it’s the only professional sporting event held in Nevada. Second, it’s the only place where you can legally gnaw on either a turkey leg or a hooker’s leg — your choice.

So without further ado, here are Harley “Splash and Go” Coe’s Top Ten things I will gamble on while at the race this weekend:

#10 - How many strippers can fit into the bed of a Craftsman Series Truck. Right now Vegas has the over/under at 7. I like the over.

#9 - Whether or not Elliot Sadler can correctly say “Creme Brulee” while ordering dessert at the team dinner the night before the race. This is pretty much as close as you’ll get to a sure thing in Vegas, it is NO.

#8 - How many times Richard Childress will play the numbers 7, 29 and 31 at the Roulette tables. I figure he is a high roller so I am going with 4,562 times. I still don’t think he’s going to win.

#7 - 5-1 odds that Robby Gordon’s head explodes. I say he stays calm this week, because next week he has his appeal heard for the fine he recieved at Daytona. That’s when Robby will go off!!

#6 - The top 10 of the Busc…I’m sorry, Nationwide series will be all regular Sprint Cup Drivers. Ol’ Harley likes this baby, in fact he may even go with the top 15 all being Sprint drivers.

#5 - Even odds that Mike Joy will say at least two of these three “Joyisms”: “This… changes everything,” “What will they do,” or “Have you ever____.” I am betting against it.

#4 - Chances of the “Gopher Cam” getting renamed by Lap 1. I’ve got money on Kyle Busch running right over that sum bitch.

#3 - Over/Under of marriage proposals to Dale Jr. and Kasey Kahne for the entire race weekend from Friday to Sunday is 1,001. I highly recommend going with the over. 714 of them will come from my cheating whore of an ex-wife.

#2 - An even-up bet that the race will be delayed by weather– I know it’s the desert — I’m talking about PacMan Jones going to the race and “making it rain.”

#1 - 10-1 odds on whether yours truly gets all hopped up on peyote and hauls ass through the lobby of the Hard Rock on my Harley. Pretty safe bet I’d say, but me and Chief got a little inside info, if you know what I mean.