Black Flagged Online header image 2

This Easter At Burton Household To Be Much Different

March 21st, 2008 · 3 Comments

Uploaded on March 21, 2007 by jmurwaski on FlickrJeff Burton has never been a big fan of Easter. While most families gather together to go to church, hunt for Easter eggs and feast on a big Easter dinner together, the holiday at the Burton household has generally been a much different affair. Forget the family bonding and fellowship, Easter at the Burtons usually involves petty infighting, hurtful words and bruised egos. While not proud of the fact that Easter brings out the worst in his family, Jeff Burton can pinpoint the source of the family discourse on one event, the Great Burton Family Easter Egg Hunt (GBFEEH).

For the past 40 years, Jeff Burton has come in second in the GBFEEH, a stunning streak of losses that Jeff blames directly on his big brother Ward. The GBFEEH is the foremost sporting event in South Boston, Virginia and Burtons come from all over the country to participate in the festivities. While participants number in the hundreds, there may as well be only one person in the great hunt according to Jeff, that person is Ward. Ward Burton has won a stunning 44 consecutive victories dating back to when he was two years old.

“When Jeff was born we thought we finally had someone that could give Ward a run for his money,” GBFEEH Director of Competition Pappy Burton recalls. “Jeff came right out of the womb and lost his first two. We thought it was because he couldn’t walk yet but hell, Ward beat him eight ways to Sunday every year. Crawl, walk, run, it didn’t matter. You get to losin’ and that’s a hard habit to break.” Jeff has tried everything to break his losing streak. From new running shoes, countless sessions with a sports psychologist to hours of testing his Easter basket in the wind tunnel at Richard Childress Racing, Jeff can’t seem to find the recipe for GBFEEH success.

The rules of the GBFEEH are simple, the person who ends up with the most eggs wins. But Jeff Burton has petitioned the governing body of the GBFEEH asking for a rule change ensuring that when an egg is placed in the basket it counts toward the end total. According the Jeff Burton, Ward exploits a loophole in the official rules that only counts the eggs in the basket at the end of the allotted time allowing Ward to steal eggs from Jeff’s basket. “He’ll follow me around, hide behind a tree or just flat out tackle me,” Jeff said. “Does that sound fair to you? I don’t think so. I find those eggs all by myself. I do all the hard work. It’s eggstraordinary to me that this is allowed.”

While Jeff has arguably enjoyed more success on the race track, he says he would trade all of his race victories for one win in the GBFEEH. “It’s the crown jewel in our family. I’d be eggstatic if I could bring home the chocolate bunny this year,” Jeff said referring to the grand prize of the hunt. “I would take that bunny and eat it right in Ward’s face. I might even rub a little chocolate on his ugly mug to sweeten the moment a bit.”

Jeff believes that this might be his year and plans to ride the momentum from his recent Sprint Cup victory of Bristol Motor Speedway to victory lane on the Easter Egg Hunt field.

Tags: Bristol (Spring)

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 juniorloves(bad word) // Mar 25, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    Eggcellent use of egg puns. Bravo.

  • 2 John Newsom // Mar 24, 2008 at 4:21 am

    I wonder what an egg hunt at the Busch family compound would look like. I suspect only a few eggs would survive.

  • 3 DC // Mar 22, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    As a big Jeff Burton fan, I must say, I had a good laugh reading this. I can just imagine Ward picking on Jeff for his Easter eggs.

Leave a Comment

Open Sort Options

Sort comments by:
  • * Applied after refresh

childcare release forms for food allergies

funk ventures fujii food

budel food products

food good for your brain

how does food cook

discount pet food prescription diet

food establishment regulations in jamaica

louisiana food service career

gourmet food store ann arbor mich

food and safety act 1995

halloween kids food

boston legal food additives

replacement parts for cuisinart food processors

food crop soil preparation

amazon com real food for diabetics

list of high energy food

baby food jar leaf craft

food education labels

soul food food network

starting a health food store

shoppers food ware

the ultimate food storage cook book

filler dog food walmart

food manufacturers in turkey

buy vegetarian dog food

international food store michigan

mexicos most popular food

seafood trends in foodservice

recalled toxic dogfood ingredients

tainted dog food scare

food consumer products of canada

west african food dishes

food chains with shrimp

hi res food photos

street dogs as food

gold star whole star food

food potato recipe soul sweet

plant food numbers stand for

dinner food thanksgiving

keystone food corporation

quality food processor

food chain of gopherus berlandieri

ryans pet food guelph

marshalls ferret food

red lobster seafood woodbury mn

un food shortage

raleigh north carolina food bank

food ideas for open houses

free machine embroidery food designs

ecology hamsters habitat food web

replacement transitional food for dogs

seafood stock food

george bernard shaw quote on food

rate canidae dog food

mina seafood market

food stores in doylestown penna

food storage saftey

sea food allergy

sunbeam food dehydrator instructions

pc food storage

food delivery phoenix

article food free journal scienc

spanish food pyramid

food borne disease outbreak

soul food restaurants in philadelphia pa

iowa food noah's ark ristorante

food vitamin d is found in

the crow indians food

ecosystem food chain in a forest

food in the 1700 s

chain elephant food

president thomas jefferson's favorite food

hanging pet food dishes

itsekiri food production usda

frace food that starts with a

food protein foreign pathogen allergic

new chapter and mega food

gluten free thai food

eukanuba petfood recall

newport seafood santa anna california

free food coupons for canada

fast food company signs

prince george's county fast food

online degree programs in food science

saluda river pet food center

not enough food

define traditional food

good food magazine recipe

food delivery service minneapolis

canidae dog food online

shelled peanuts splits bird food

food distributing companies

marks and spencer food hampers

worst food borne illnesses

planktons food web

what food the celts had

problems caused by recalled pet food

italian food basket

buy diamond dog food online

diet food delivered high springs florida

angel food ministries stark county

survival food northern california

food freezing temperature

flavor food spray

global food technologies inc

sugar food calories

tractor supply retriever brand dog food

pet visit treats bath food

sunbeam oscar food processor for sale

wacky facts about food

food production in ancient rome

swimming while digesting food

jewish food traditions

apple cider vinegar plant food garden

philly food to send

box baby food

income on food

rainbow blossum health food

public domain food images

life is good cat food

lesson on ants food

food network red lobster tilapia chocolate

ulm germany food

cold storage food chart

dog food that toxic

new information on dog food recall

art bell pet food

gto's seafood sebastopol

food web of coral reef

diahrea recommended food

food protection agency uk

seafood restaurant manly

janes family food ltd

alcan packaging food and tobacco inc.

food stains on teeth

cesar dog food dog breed

what food lower chlorestol

why should you eat healthy food

food supplier erie farms

food and drug administration hand washing

veterinary food inspection specialist

beachside goleta seafood

producers of dog food

mud bay pet food stores

natural raw pet food recipes cancer

food handling laws texas

printable food and exercise journal

shoppers food store manassas va

food network iron chef