Jeff Burton has never been a big fan of Easter. While most families gather together to go to church, hunt for Easter eggs and feast on a big Easter dinner together, the holiday at the
For the past 40 years, Jeff Burton has come in second in the GBFEEH, a stunning streak of losses that Jeff blames directly on his big brother Ward. The GBFEEH is the foremost sporting event in
“When Jeff was born we thought we finally had someone that could give Ward a run for his money,” GBFEEH Director of Competition Pappy Burton recalls. “Jeff came right out of the womb and lost his first two. We thought it was because he couldn’t walk yet but hell, Ward beat him eight ways to Sunday every year. Crawl, walk, run, it didn’t matter. You get to losin’ and that’s a hard habit to break.” Jeff has tried everything to break his losing streak. From new running shoes, countless sessions with a sports psychologist to hours of testing his Easter basket in the wind tunnel at Richard Childress Racing, Jeff can’t seem to find the recipe for GBFEEH success.
The rules of the GBFEEH are simple, the person who ends up with the most eggs wins. But Jeff Burton has petitioned the governing body of the GBFEEH asking for a rule change ensuring that when an egg is placed in the basket it counts toward the end total. According the Jeff Burton, Ward exploits a loophole in the official rules that only counts the eggs in the basket at the end of the allotted time allowing Ward to steal eggs from Jeff’s basket. “He’ll follow me around, hide behind a tree or just flat out tackle me,” Jeff said. “Does that sound fair to you? I don’t think so. I find those eggs all by myself. I do all the hard work. It’s eggstraordinary to me that this is allowed.”
While Jeff has arguably enjoyed more success on the race track, he says he would trade all of his race victories for one win in the GBFEEH. “It’s the crown jewel in our family. I’d be eggstatic if I could bring home the chocolate bunny this year,” Jeff said referring to the grand prize of the hunt. “I would take that bunny and eat it right in Ward’s face. I might even rub a little chocolate on his ugly mug to sweeten the moment a bit.”
Jeff believes that this might be his year and plans to ride the momentum from his recent Sprint Cup victory of Bristol Motor Speedway to victory lane on the Easter Egg Hunt field.



3 responses so far ↓
1 juniorloves(bad word) // Mar 25, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Eggcellent use of egg puns. Bravo.
2 John Newsom // Mar 24, 2008 at 4:21 am
I wonder what an egg hunt at the Busch family compound would look like. I suspect only a few eggs would survive.
3 DC // Mar 22, 2008 at 2:45 pm
As a big Jeff Burton fan, I must say, I had a good laugh reading this. I can just imagine Ward picking on Jeff for his Easter eggs.
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