A recalcitrant Darryl Waltrip started searching for primates in need of an adoptive uncle today following remarks he made recently on Fox to the effect that if Patrick Carpentier’s pit crew could complete a full pit stop in 16 seconds, “I‘ll be a monkey’s uncle.”

Carpentier took exception to the comments and plans to hold the broadcaster to his word by making him the legal guardian of a “singe,” whatever that is.

Veteran NASCAR voice Mike Joy witnessed the mishap and knew trouble was coming. “If at all possible you want to avoid making statements like that, on the air and off. Darryl Waltrip is going to learn that lesson the hard way — and that monkey is going to remind him of his hubris every time he sits down to a Thanksgiving dinner.”

Carpentier’s crew chief Pepe LePeu used the challenge to motivate his team — slapping a picture of a grinning monkey on the side of the pit wall.

Carpentier’s pit crew of former lumberjacks and unemployed crepe cooks went straight to work, dropping the jack with a fraction of a second to spare. From end to end, Pit Road reverberated with their cries of “Vive le monkey!” — which literally means, “Long live the monkey.”

“We really mean zat,” LePeu said after the race. “We want ze monkey to live a long, long time.”

No one knows yet what Darryl will name the monkey, but Vegas oddsmakers have “Boogity” as the favorite at 2 to 1. Aaron’s has already offered a contract to the monkey for TV and radio ads, while also agreeing to sponsor the monkey’s modified car on the ARCA circuit.

The loss of the wager is even worse news for Michael Waltrip, who (in order to make Darryl the monkey’s uncle) must become the adoptive father to the creature.