Mike Helton today responded to criticism leveled at him by team owners with typical aplomb, by scowling at them and making a crude gensture involving his middle finger.

One team owner confided to blackflaggedonline.com: “The scowl is pretty much a permanent thing, but the finger, I’ve never seen that before. That’s an encouraging sign we might be making some headway.”

Among the charges: The “Suggestion Box” Helton implemented two years ago has no slot through which to put suggestions. Anyone confronting Helton is reportedly told to “Talk to the ‘stache, the ears ain’t listenin’.” And objections have been raised to the Patton-sized flag which hangs behind Helton during driver’s meetings.

A source familiar with the contents of Helton’s jockeys confided, “I mean, that’s great if you have titanium testicles, but do you really have to bring it up at every meeting, put it on your business cards, and ask the ladies if that’s an electron magnet in their pocket or are they just happy to see you?”

The discomfort in drivers’ meetings, particularly, has increased as Helton has begun using Jedi force to choke anyone who gives him guff Darth Vader-style.

Not everyone is lamenting the NASCAR president’s tightening grip on power. Churches throughout the mid-South have retained Helton to frighten the Devil away from their congregations.