With the Democratic presidential nomination process growing ever more contentious, Senator Clinton is suggesting that the situation would be best resolved in the traditional manner in the state of North Carolina: on the track. With neither candidate able to secure the nomination outright by reaching 2025 delegates, the proposed race format would be a winner-take-all proposition that would grant the winning candidate all of the state’s 115 pledged delegates and get the winner one step closer to facing Republican nominee John McCain in the general election.

“For far too long, our country has chosen its leaders at the ballot box,” said a rabid Clinton supporter. “Well, I say it’s time to settle this from the pit box! This campaign has spent the last few months tracking polls. A waste of time I say! The time has come to start from the pole on the race track!”

The format of the proposed race would feature a two lap qualifying run to determine starting position and pit box selection, followed by a ten lap shootout. The first candidate to cross the finish line would be rewarded with all of North Carolina’s delegates.

While Obama has declined to accept the challenge outright, comments from his camp on the challenge indicate he might be willing to accept such a solution to end the deadlock. “Senator Clinton is grasping at straws here. Obama is the front runner, and she is resorting to cheap tricks. I think someone must have left the cover off her oil tank. Throughout his campaign Obama’s been saying that it’s time for a change in Washington. It’s time for a change alright, four tires and a full tank of gas!”

Obama, currently leading in pledged delegates and popular vote, has been subject to criticism that he cannot win big states and that his liberal policies will not appeal to moderate voters. Because of that, Clinton argues, Obama will not perform as well against the Republican nominee John McCain in the general election.

“Senator Clinton is trying to convince the voters that she is the candidate that can reach across party lines and appeal to the center,” one Obamaniac said. “Did I hear that correctly? Is she trying to turn to the right to win the Democratic nomination? We all know where right turns get you in NASCAR… right into the wall!”

“We’ve been going around in circles for the past few months and voters have yet to come to a decision. Let’s do a few more circles Barrack. A few more circle around the track!” said Clinton’s biggest NASCAR fan. “In war time, it’s more important than ever that we select a strong leader. In fact, Senator Clinton is even thinking about reinstituting the draft. That’s right, get all our supporters in line and draft right past Senator Obama.”

With the campaign taking on a nasty tone in the past few weeks, Senator Obama has been forced to defend himself against attempts to paint him as unpatriotic because he does not wear a flag pin on his lapel. Obama’s staunch supporters defended him against the claims, saying “Senator Obama pledges allegiance to the flag — the checkered flag!”

The proposed race has received great interest in the state so far, so much so that Richard Petty is now considering entering the race to become leader of the free world. A newly released Zogby poll with a margin of error of 0 shows that in the proposed race format, Richard Petty would earn the nomination in a landslide.