Sturgis Burgess is more than Kyle Petty’s number one fan, he’s also an aspiring NASCAR team owner — and his dreams were crushed this week when Petty Enterprises was sold to a private equity firm, Boston Ventures.

“Mah phone didn’t ring once all dat day!” Burgess complained.  “Ah certainly would have made Richard Petty an offer for that race team of Kyle’s.”

Although Burgess conceded he may have been out catching baby alligators or working on his fanboat, the “Skynyrd 45,” he very much doubts that owner Richard Petty even thought to offer the team for sale to his son’s biggest supporter.

“Buhind those mirrored sunglasses is two beady eyes, two bushy eyebrows and one cold-ass business mind.  He’s well-aware of my plans to revitalize Kyle’s career and get him outta his daddy’s shadow,” Burgess whispered.  “Change the name, cut the mane, Kyle Petty won’t be the same.  I can make that boy a winner!”

Burgess is convinced that Richard Petty’s devious plan to undermine the driver of the 45 will not be impeded by the new Boston ownership.  Still, he wishes he had the chance to compete with his own bid for the team.

“I was gonna offer them mah life savings and the chance to see young Kyle’s face in victory lane each weekend.  That sounds like a winnin’ bid to me.”