TNT revolutionized NASCAR broadcasting at the Coca-Cola 400 on Sunday by presenting the race without commercial interruption, by which we mean they presented the commercials without stopping to focus on things like the race.

“Shoot, I’m glad,” said viewer Brandt Kranstall.  “I have never in my life been so motivated to buy a Crunch Wrap Supreme!”

Coke Zero, as well, cashed in as viewers of the race and their multiple ad efforts were so overwhelmed by the barrage of suggestive messages that many of them lost interest in the race and went to their corner Sunoco to obtain a beverage that has no calories and no sugar, yet somehow still tastes like Coke.

Race viewers were, in many cases, treated to back-to-back commercials by the same advertisers.  It was the perfect set-up for NASCAR consumers who love the nuances of advertising.

“In the past, TNT would cut away from the advertisements on the cars, the firesuits, the track infield and around the perimeter of the race venue to show us commercials.  With the Wide Open format, I’m able to watch all of the sponsors on the track while I simultaneously enjoy the good work of advertisers in a 30- or 60- second short promotional film format,” said Mike Helton’s moustache.  “I can’t get enough of them advertisers, or their coin.”

A spokesman for Juan Pablo Montoya said the driver was severely challenged by the new format.  “Generally we tell JPM when we’ve hit a commercial break, and that’s when he just starts driving like a madman: smash-’em, crash ‘em Speedy Gonzalez style.”  With the lack of commercial breaks on Saturday night, however, there was no opportunity for Montoya to obtain track position.  “The reality is that there’s a reason why the yellow always comes out during the break — those guys floor it as soon as they’re sure the viewer won’t see them roughing up the competition.”  Montoya struggled to a 38th-place finish using only good behavior.

Nor was the 42 driver alone in objecting to the production choices used by the crew at TNT.  Bill Weber, TNT’s point person on the broadcasts, was also chagrined by being forced to pitch products throughout the race.  In his high-pitched, effeminate, everyday voice, Weber complained that viewers were deprived of hearing his patent catchphrase, “We’ll see how that works out,” seventy times or so.  At one point, Jon Wood was able to secure a third Aaron’s Lucky Dog in a row, and Weber was unable to remind viewers that this development may or may not work out for the driver.

But with most of the viewing public, the broadcast was a huge hit.

Mitchell Moneymaker, CEO of Coke Zero, was a typical everyday fan who loved the format.  “I had a whole houseful of average Joe friends, the CEO of Office Depot, the CEO of Menards, the CEO of FedEx, the CEO of the U.S. Army… just beer-drinking guys who like to get together to enjoy the race on my 148-inch LCD.  Everyone loved it.”

Marketing majors across the country were able to complete semesters-worth of research by simply watching the broadcast.  “Usually it would take months, years even, to accumulate that many advertising examples.  I wrote two whole theses,” said grad student Philip Sauerburg.

Meanwhile, Fred Scoot, who usually tapes the race and fast-forwards through the commercials, was inconvenienced by the fact that he inadvertently fast-forwarded the entire race. 

NASCAR commentarian Fat Sandy Dirtburger could not be awakened from his catatonic slumber for comment.