Jimmie Johnson spun through the infield at Michigan yesterday, pumping his fist with the wind in his hair.  It was just like he imagined it — the exuberance, the adrenaline, the pure thrill.  The only incongruity? Johnson burned his victory donuts as the 13th-place driver in the latter stretches of lap 200.

The fact that his celebration cost the #48 team four positions in the finishing standings was no problem for Johnson Nation.  “Carl Edwards does his backflip, and I’m cool with that, but in the meantime there is a perfectly good front yard nobody’s tearin’ through like a half-wit on bourbon and uppers,” said Jimmie Johnson fan Bosley Homeslice.

Cognizant of the fact that someone had to do it, Johnson selflessly jerked the wheel to the right and then to the left, sending the 48 through the untouched emerald grass of the Michigan infield, where groundskeeper and obvious Carl Edwards fan Buck Crumbley watched his turf-respecting hero Edwards take the checkers.

“Yes, yes!  Woo hoo!  Yee haw!” Crumbley exalted before seeing the gleam in Johnson’s eye: “No, no, no.  Aw please, no.  Shoot!  Dang!  Tarnation!  Ohhhhhh…”

Bosley Homeslice registered on the opposite side of the equation: “Yeah, Jimmie J!  Tear it up!  Awwwww, yeah!”  Homeslice later admitted that, upon seeing Johnson spin through the grass, he momentarily forgot that Johnson had not won the race, and he suspects that his favorite driver forgot that fact, too.

“When you’re used to winning so often, I can see how you might.  But if you can’t take a trip through victory lane, Jimmie and I both know that the next best thing is a trip through the infield with 200,000 fans screaming — even if they’re screaming for someone else.”