Dearest Shannon, 

Don’t let the title of this here article fool ya, I’s still luv’s you but my friends and I think it is time for me to move on.  I’m guessing that your husband intercepted my April letter where I respectfully asked you to accompany me on a romantic afternoon at the Richmond International Raceway because when our paths did not cross during the race at Richmond in May or this September I was completely broken hearted and this is the only excuse I will accept from you.

I’ve started writing this letter many times but did not send it to you.  Why you ask?  The pain was too much would be a simple answer.  But the truth is, the embarrassment was too much to bear.  I told all my buddies that I had a date with Shannon Spake as we packed our coolers before departing for the track on race day.  As I placed a six pack of wine coolers and a bottle of Boone’s Farm into the cooler, my friends all looked at me as if I had gone soft.  The humiliation from my peers was a small price to pay when compared to the embarrassment I would have felt should you have arrived at our tailgate site and not had any girlie drinks to enjoy in the hot sun. 

I don’t much see you as a beer or whiskey gal so I figured the cool carbonation of a wine based cocktail would be a welcome means of quenching your thirst.  I imagine you are a girl of impeccable manners so you are probably experiencing some feelings of guilt due to the wasted beverages.  Don’t spend a moment worrying your pretty little head.  We ran out of beer around 4:30 so those wine coolers sure came in handy.

But none of that matters now because this letter is to put you on official notice that you have been dumped.  That’s right sweetheart, I’ve moved on.  I don’t mean to hurt you after all that we’ve been through, but, I’m in love with one of your coworkers now.  Her name is Jamie Little.  I saw that little sex kitten at Richmond and she really got my gears turning if you know what I mean.  I wanted to let you know that I’ve broken the surface with Jamie and sent her an invite to our Dover tailgate this weekend.

Shannon, my heart wants what the heart wants and that is to date an attractive ESPN reporter.  So when we stop for gas and ice in downtown Dover this week, fully expect me to purchase a lone red rose encased in cellophane to deliver to Ms. Little in an attempt to win her over.  That red rose could have been yours lil’ lady but I guess it wasn’t in the cards for you an me. Believe me, my heart is still aching for that Joe Nemechek championship and now it will ache for the love you could not give me.

Thanks for nuthin’ you tease. 

Love,

Remington Chassis

PS - I saved that bottle of Boone’s Farm for should you find time in your schedule to swing by the date I have planned with Jamie this weekend if you want to give “us” another chance.  Or maybe we could work something out between the three of us, just a thought.