For NASCAR drivers few things are more special than returning home and racing in front of the fans that have watched them since they began racing.  This weekend, Clint Bowyer will get to enjoy the experience of racing for the win in front of the most loyal fans of his, the fans from his home state of Kansas.  This weekend’s race at Kansas Speedway marks the only time the driver gets to put his talents on display for his home state fans and he looks forward to making an impression. 

The busy NASCAR race schedule and other obligations make it difficult for drivers to find any time for themselves but Bowyer is taking advantage of the opportunity to visit his hometown to see family and friends in Emporia, Kansas. 

“It sure is great to have Clint back in town,” said Bowyer’s racing mentor Dickie Youngblood.  “Back when we was racing on the dirt tracks around here I knew he would grow up to be something special.  The best thing about Clint is that he never forgot where he came from.  Every year he makes time to come back and see us and tell us how he is doing.”

In front of gathered family, friends and fans at Buford’s Tavern Bowyer addressed the crowd and claimed that his successful racing career has blessed him with opportunities that most kids growing up in Emporia do not get to experience.  Bowyer insists that he hasn’t lost his small town roots and still walks around with dirt in his shoes gathered from the dirt tracks where he first started racing.  As he continued, Bowyer humbly told those in attendance that he is regularly approached by women that are hotter than every woman any of his friends has ever seen combined and then lit on fire and that his money flows so freely that he will season his food with US currency. 

However, Bowyer insisted that he was no different than the people that live their day to lives in Emporia.  He explained the NASCAR drivers have problems just like everyone else.  Bowyer tried to impress among the gathered guests that NASCAR drivers are affected by the same issues they face every day and that the high cost of gasoline has led him to cut back on racing go karts with his friends on the track he built in his backyard. 

“We get it Clint,” said Youngblood.  “You’re rich, not too ugly and a famous race car driver.  You don’t need to explain to us over and over about how great that is.  At least throw us some tickets to the damn race for sitting here with you all night listening to you complain about how you can’t get a lift kit to fit your Ferrari and how many millions of dollars you had to move around to protect yourself from failing banks.” 

As the evening continued, Bowyer was overheard boasting incorrectly about owning Jack Daniels, arm wrestling a crocodile, and inventing wheels. 

“Evidently, Clint is having quite the life,” said Youngblood.  “I just didn’t know how good.  I’m really glad he told us everything here in a bar so I don’t have to go too far to drown my sorrows.”

By the end of the evening, Bowyer had signed all of his former high school buddies to his pit crew and invested in several business ventures envisioned by noted Emporia barfly Jay Hawk including a 24/7 fireworks store made from hay and a racing school for blind animals. 

Reportedly, Bowyer forbade any bar patrons from drinking anything other than Jack Daniels due to sponsor obligations and balked at any attempts from the bartender to collect for his drinks reportedly claiming that “Jack Daniels pays for me.  I don’t pay for Jack Daniels.” 

After winning a game of shuffleboard with local champion Bill “Puck” Longwell, Bowyer bought a bottle of the bar’s finest $3 champagne and sprayed it over the other patrons. 

“Like I said, we’re always happy when Clint comes back home,” said Youngblood.  “But we’re sure as hell a lot happier when Clint leaves.”