Kevin Harvick and wife Delana are known for being innovators at the track, but after watching the finish to Sunday’s race at Talladega Delana is bringing some of those ideas home.
Delana informed Kevin this morning that the bright yellow line surrounding their home was part of her new set of house rules, Rule #1 of which is No Passing Gas Below the Yellow Line. “Kevin is going to have to squeeze those cheeks inside the house from now on,” said Harvick family housekeeper Sandra Shine. As we conducted the interview, a boxers-clad Harvick raced past her to the midpoint of their driveway, stood still for three seconds, and raced back indoors.
Other rules are sure to follow, and Delana is rumored to have ordered a trailer for the back yard where she can call Kevin for discussions about any rules violations. The custom pink shag carpeting for the walls has taken longer than expected, so delivery of the trailer has been slightly delayed.
In the meantime, Delana is rumored to be implementing the following new rules:
Kevin must not exceed a standard weight, similar to the rules implemented for NASCARs.
Kevin’s use of the Harvick main floor “pit stall” is limited to one minute, after which Kevin must lower the seat and wash his hands.
If Kevin exceeds a maximum number of drinks during Happy Hour, he is not allowed upstairs to race later on that evening.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Black Flagged Online // Oct 10, 2008 at 8:45 am
Just a reminder (We’re looking at you Kenny): The high-wire satire practiced on BFO is best left to professionals. Don’t try this at home. But thanks for reading! — Blackflaggedonline
2 Kenny Solomon // Oct 9, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Concord, NC, 9 October 2008
Wire Services - Combined File Report
After hearing about Kevin Harvick’s physical encounter with Carl Edwards earlier today at Lowe’s Motor speedway, Delana Harvick, wife of the RCR (29 car) driver was overheard as saying (paraphrased), “That Missouri pansy better have not laid a hand on my precious. He wrecks my sweetie, then he leaves a love note on our airplane . . . then he comes to the garage to kiss and make up - - - all without me being there for the fun? I’d like to tie up Carl and . . . .
A spokesman for Carl Edwards’ team ownership (Roush-Fenway Racing) wishing to be known only as “Mr. Hat” stated “Carl would never start anything with anybody. He’s too much of a momma’s boy. Besides, if he did do something stupid and make the team and company look bad, I would . . . er, I mean the team would have to give him the same reject equipment, used tires and leftover pit crew we give McMurray in the 26.
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Cheers!
Kenny Solomon
A Jamie McMurray fan in South Flori-duh
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