Man o man do I remember my younger days.  I used to be the cool kid on the block, hanging out with all the youngsters and what not.  I remember the good old days when Casey Mears and Kyle Busch and I used to turn laps together.  We were young and we were cool.  There was no doubt about it.  Those were the days.  Geoff Bodine, Ricky Rudd and Terry Labonte and I used to have some good times to, back when they were young that is.  But now look at me.  I’ve got Mark Martin behind the wheel.  He’s a great guy and all but let’s face facts, he ain’t no spring chicken.  I’m happy to have him along with me, being a legend and all, but I have to come to terms with the fact that now I’m the old guy. 

I ain’t gonna sugar coat this for you and say it’s been easy.  It ain’t.  There’s no more late night parties and marathon Guitar Hero sessions.  Now it’s the mentholated scent of ben gay and special appearances at AARP meetings and nursing homes for me. 

My lady fans used to have pert near a full set of teeth, now my lady fans have a full set of dentures.  Mark used to drive for Viagra.  Given our fans nowadays I think we should consider bringing them back.  At least that means we are still getting laid.  The youngsters nowadays can relate to that.  Maybe instead of looking at us as the old guys they would look at us as the experienced guys that still like a roll in the hay every now and then.  Now I’ve got Kellogs as a sponsor.  That doesn’t do a lot for our fans.  Maybe Geritol or Metamucil would be interested in a sponsorship.  How about those fancy rascal scooters they sell on tv or a Life Alert bracelet?  That’s what our fans want to see.  Adult diapers?  That hair dye that turns your gray hair blue?  These are things that our fans love!

Mark and I were hanging out with our new teammates just the other day and they are all talking about the Facebooks, the Twitters and the Jonas Brothers.  Sure I laughed along with them and pretended that I knew what they were talking about.  But to be perfectly honest with you, I didn’t have a clue.  Mark didn’t either.  He asked them if they bought the new Smothers Brothers album.  They looked at us like we had three heads.  Ugh, I guess my cool days are behind me.  To make matters worse the guys suggested we go play Wii.  Mark stared blankly at them and told them that isn’t proper grammar.  He corrected them incorrectly and suggested that we go play. 

One thing I do have going for me is the fact that maybe I’ll be able to win a couple of races this year.  There could even be a championship in the cards if you believe what the ladies are saying at bridge club and the fellas say at the shuffleboard table.  If we do win,  I just hope that Mark doesn’t throw out his hip trying to climb up on my roof.  Anyway, I’ll be talking to ya’ll later.  I want to catch a cat nap before we have to go to dinner at 4 pm.  We can’t miss that early bird you know.