Dear NASCAR:

No race this past weekend?  I don’t understand, it wasn’t Mother’s Day or Easter was it? It is St. Patrick’s weekend but that is only celebrated by a minority of potato heads that dress funny and drink gallons of beer. Well, maybe they could be NASCAR Fans but that’s not the point. 

I’m not someone who fails at something then tries again.  When I fail, I say screw it and move on.  But for some reason I keep checking NASCAR.com and the paper because I failed to see there was a race schedule on Sunday.  I kept thinking to myself, maybe I ain’t reading it right, maybe one of them there sources forgot to print it.  What if I miss the race and something big happens like Kyle Busch wins or something.  Or the fans actually boo Dale Jr.  What if Remington Chassis calls me up and says “did you see that chicks rack in turn four?”  Maybe the race is in a different time zone.  I think they race in Montreal, that’s half way round the earth.  That’s it, they are racing in Montreal so they would put it on at about 3 a.m. I kept telling myself that but it never came.

I feel like I am going crazy with no race.  In the background of the trailer all I hear is blah, do this, blah, do that, blah.  It’s the wife, saying “since there is no race you need to fix this, build that, start this.”  How does she know there is no race and I had no idea?  Did NASCAR phone all the wives?  God damn you Mike Helton’s Mustache.  How dare you do this to us!

Wait a second….I think I am starting to see the whole picture now….no race…..Obama administration inherited all Bush’s problems……could it be them?  No, they need the votes, they won’t DX a NASCAR race and how could they unless it was in the stimulus package?  They might have taken needed NASCAR stimulus dollars and given them to something stupid like education or roads.  No, that can’t be it.

I still don’t understand it.  Really, no race?  Does the Catholic Church just up and not have a mass on Sunday?  Does Danica Patrick stop being sexy away from the track? Does Yahoo just not hoo?  How about us, Black Flagged Online, what if we just didn’t? It is very curious and we at BFO want some answers for our fans and hold those responsible for this no race bullshit.