The effort of driving his #55 car deep into the corner on Saturday forced a substantial fart from between Michael Waltrip’s butt cheeks last Saturday night.  Unfortunately, the Napa Chevrolet also bottomed out (pardon the pun), sending sparks showering beneath the car.

 The resulting conflagration engulfed Waltrip’s ride in flames, sparking concern from the telecast booth where brother Darryl’s eyes were fixed on his brother’s ride.

 Fox viewer Aaron Carl Deecee wasn’t surprised D.W. jumped right on the call.  “It’s not so secret that the only reason he calls the races for Fox is to get the free ticket to watch his brother.”

 Viewers are accustomed to the following D.W. pearls:

 ”Good job, Mikey!  You’re only three laps down and you’ll get a competition caution here in just a few minutes.”

“Great save, Mikey!”

“Ooooh, Mikey, looks like you scraped the wall a little bit — yep, and here comes the red flag so they can vacuum up the #55 car off the track.  See you in an hour folks!”

 And Saturday, the few remaining Americans who watch NASCAR on Fox with the TV sound on got the following:

 ”Uh oh, Mikey farted and it’s burst into flames.  Turn off the TV, Mom!”

 and then, when it appeared Waltrip was going to be fine…

 ”OK, Mom, you can turn the TV back on now.  Mikey’s OK.”

 A.C. Deecee speculated on the fiber-andprotein mixture involved in the formulation of the flammable flatulence, the toxic toot, the phewey pantsripper:  “That there looked to me like maybe a baked bean and sausage fart — maybe a broccoli and spam fart — but I don’t think Mikey eats broccoli.  It could well have been that Mikey ate some grass and washed it down with race fuel.  We may never know.  All the evidence went up in those spectactular flames.”