Panic gripped NASCAR’s youngest driver Sunday morning in the lobby of a
“Honestly, I thought I had people for all of that,” Logano complained to the adoring media. “But Coach gave ME the responsibility this weekend of remembering the keys to the race, and right away, I knew I was in over my head.”
A startled Logano first checked his pockets for the keys to the race, but found only a few of the more substantial boogers he had picked in the last few hours, a small tube of Retin-A, and an expired, unused jimmy-hat.
“We were all freaking out,” said Logano posse member Donny Ruffle. “We were, like, what happens if we can’t find the keys to the race? Can we get into the race without keys? Will the race start without a key or will we have to hotwire it? I mean, I dropped out of middle school for this gig. I can’t go back now. I’m 23.”
Logano tore apart Room 324 looking for the keys to the race, but they were nowhere to be found amid the piles of Teen People magazines and collection of pogs which are Logano’s constant race traveling companions. Ruffle opened the door to 324 only to see his driver looking longingly across the hotel parking lot to the interstate in the distance.
The two decided to retrace Logano’s steps in hopes of finding where the keys to the race had been lost.
“I think the keys to the race are out there, somewhere. Maybe we left them on the counter at Arby’s. They could have fallen out of my pocket at the fairgrounds. I was skipping rocks at the lake, I could have accidentally thrown the keys to the race. Oh God, what will I do?”
The answer, as it turns out, was a 15th place finish at



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