Ever been stuck in the parking lot after a NASCAR race?  Of course you have.  Well race car drivers are no different.  After spending hours in their cars logging laps and miles, NASCAR drivers and their haulers generally put in a couple more hours trying to navigate their way from the track.  The obvious exception are those drivers with the purse strings that allow for helicopters to whisk them above the masses lined up in their cars for miles and those that leave the race early.  Of course when we say leave the race early, that applies to those people that leave the race itself with those three little letters next to their names, DNF.

“DNF to mean doesn’t always mean Did Not Finish,” said Joe Nemechek’s hauler driver Dickie Thumbinit.  “To me and Joe, DNF can just as easily stand for Don’t Need the Frustration.  Trying to get away from the track after a race can be one doozie of a headache.  Joe and I would just assume get home in time for supper.”

Of his twelve starts this season, Nemechek’s efforts have resulted in 10 DNFs.  Reasons for leaving the race include mechanical failures such as failed fuel pumps, brakes and transmissions.  But Nemechek doesn’t fault his equipment or his pit crew. 

“Don’t always believe what you hear,” said Nemechek’s Deputy Assistant Crew Chief Ham Yellowbush.  “Sometimes Joe gets hungry.  He ain’t always able to keep his lunch down with all the pressure of owning his own team and all.  Joe’ll usually throw up right after lunch saying he is trying to lose a few pounds.  But we all know the stress gets to him.  A man’s gotta eat when a man’s gotta eat whether that’s in the middle of a NASCAR race or not.  It ain’t like we can just hop out and go grab a turkey leg.”

Because of his hearty appetite, Nemechek and crew generally tend to prefer leaving the race a little bit early to get a jump on traffic and make their way to the Golden Corral buffet before it gets all picked over.

“Everybody knows that Sunday is Carver’s Table Day at Golden Corral,” said Team Nutritionist Debbie Wayfull.  “You wait until the end of the race to leave the track and by the time you grab you a plate and hit the buffet all that’s left is ham bones and gristle.”