Everyone knows the Gillette “Young Guns.”   A youthful bunch of fun loving NASCAR drivers united by their enthusiasm for shaving and generous financial support from Gillette.  The Young Guns inspire young men everywhere who can’t wait to take that sharp Gillette Fusion Power blade to their face and free them from the embarrassing yet empowering symbol of manhood manifested by that sparse landscape of whiskers littering their upper lips.  The Gillette Young Guns symbolize the rebellious nature of young men and sends the message that shaving not be feared, in part due to Fusion Power technology, but shaving should be embraced.

But outside the men who shave because they can and the men who refuse to shave because they can, lies another group of men, the men who don’t shave because they can’t.  These fellas don’t shave because they can’t grow a beard. 

With their sponsorship of the race this past weekend at New Hampshire Motor Speedway, the enterprising folks at Lenox Industrial Tools took advantage of the opportunity to grab hold of the important demographic made up from the thousands of men out there who can’t seem to sprout facial hair. 

“Lenox saw a need out there and acted on it,” said Lenox Director of Public Affairs Stank Underarm.  “Gillette “Young Guns”, move over.  It’s time for the Lenox “Tools!”

The Lenox “Tools,” as they are now known, represent the smooth as a baby’s bottom faced, retainer wearing, pocket protector sporting, nerdy set of the NASCAR community.  The “Tools” are comprised of David Reutimann, Dave Blaney and David Gilliland.  The three drivers were previously rumored to be forming a group called “Daves of Thunder” but were enticed into abandoning that idea by a much more lucrative offer from Lenox. 

“I am proud to be a Tool!” read a tshirt worn by Gilliland at a press event announcing the formation of the group.

The three Tools stood arm to arm as Underarm proudly proclaimed that the Tools would battle the Young Guns wherever there is a need.

“When a Young Gun ignores a fan asking for an autograph, a Tool will be there,” proclaimed Underarm.  “When a Young Gun goes a lap down, rest assured that a Tool will be there!  When a Young Gun is spun out during a race, don’t look far because you can guarantee that a Tool will be there!”

The event, held before the Lenox Industrial Tool 301, wasn’t without incident. 

“The Tools are a new group so they have yet to gel the way we would like them to,” said Underarm.  “We were just trying to get a shot of the Tool doing a high five and smiling.  It only took us 47 takes to get it right but we do have one hell of a blooper reel.”

The Tools will be coming to a track near you in the future.