NASCAR fans who accidentally tuned in to the real news this week happened across a great idea for planning their last wills and testaments.  Pop icon Michael Jackson, who willed the care of his children to either his mother or to Diana Ross, unsuspectingly gave hundreds of rednecks a great idea.

Bill Burton is just one of many fans who have amended their final wishes in recent days to entrust the care of their children to Dale Earnhardt, Jr.  “I was gonna leave them little rugrats with my sister in case my semi ever shot off a bridge and landed on my wife’s fishing boat, or I lit a trick stogie at the very same moment she passed gas, or any other thing that might take us both out in one fell swoop – but my sister’s already caring for nine young ‘uns.  MJ gave me a way better idea.  Leave them kids with Dale, Jr.”

Aside from the obvious benefits of Earnhardt’s wealth and fame, Burton says he thinks the driver would make a pretty good father.  “I know one thing – Dale Jr. will take the offspring to more NASCAR races than their old man ever will.  Plus, they will grow up with a skill set of some variety related to motorsports, and I can’t even successfully change the oil in my lawnmower.  I just push that old girl til the engine burns up, shove it in the garage, and get a new one.”

Burton is not alone, the estate lawyers’ association estimates that more than 100 of their members are setting up speciality practices to handle the amendment of legal documents to convey guardianship of children to NASCAR drivers.

Spokesman Barney Ratfink laughed, “Carl Edwards can’t hold a lead, but he sure better learn how to hold a bottle!  That guy is going to have more babies than an adolescent barn cat with two uteruses.”

“Besides,” Ratfink noted, “most of these kids are already subsisting on a diet of Amp energy drink and Little Debbie Products.  If your kid likes Coca-Cola, leave him with Tony Stewart.  If he likes Pepsi, errr, Jack Daniels, leave him with Casey Mears.  Your kid can’t get enough Domino’s Pizza? David Reutimann will assure he doesn’t go to bed hungry in some orphanage.”

Still more middle aged baby daddies are interested in drivers who have successfully trained other family members to be NASCAR drivers.  “Mark Martin is catching a lot of interest.  We’ve received far fewer inquiries about Rusty Wallace, on the other hand.”

No parties, however, have expressed interest in the parenting capabilities of Jeremy Mayfield.

Yet Earnhardt remains the most popular target of concerned fathers, although some have even been convinced to expand their wills to include provisions never before tested in a court of law.  “My wife requested that I leave her in the care of Dale Earnhardt, Jr., along with the kids.  I’m going to be gone, so I figured why not.  Then I saw her sharpening the axe,” one fan told us.  “So there is a small amount of concern there.”