It is a time honored tradition at the White House for the President of the United States to host athletes who have accomplished something special in their sports.  President Obama continued that tradition when he invited last season’s Sprint Cup Series champion Jimmie Johnson, some drivers from last season’s Chase for the Cup, a few NASCAR legends and
Bobby Labonte to the White House for a visit.  

“It was a true honor for the President to host some of NASCAR’s best drivers,” said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.  “Behind the wheel these men demonstrate the drive, dedication and nerves of steel it takes to succeed in their sport.  Around here we like to think that President Obama is behind the wheel of the country. Hopefully something from the NASCAR guys rubbed off on him.”

What “rubbed off on him” though was probably not what Gibbs had in mind.  The press event soon turned into an impromptu tailgate party on the front lawn of the White House, a turn of events that Gibbs described as “unfortunate but not entirely unexpected.”

“After all, we are dealing with rednecks here,” said Gibbs.

Shortly after cameras were turned off and the press was led away, plumes of smoke could be seen rising from the lawn and the smell of hickory wood filled the air.  Secret Service agents responded to the scene expecting to find a fire but instead found Greg Biffle manning a Weber grill and cooking hot dogs and burgers. 

“We certainly did not plan on things deteriorating the way they did,” continued Gibbs.  “But unfortunately, tailgate parties and shenanigans are a side effect of NASCAR and beer.”

According to reports, one post press conference beer turned into 10 or 15 and shortly thereafter, everyone was shirtless.

“It was harmless fun,” explained Gibbs.  “There were beers, they played horseshoes, and insulted each other’s manhood.  They did what rednecks do.  Clint Bowyer even declared President Obama an honorary redneck, a designation that President Obama graciously declined.”

The next morning, the drivers woke up on the lawn and were politely escorted from the grounds by Secret Service.

Returning from a shopping trip with her daughters, Michelle Obama was less than thrilled to come home and find a car parked on her lawn. 

“I come home, I’m tired, I just want to relax and I find my husband outside with a bunch of rednecks,” said First Lady Michelle Obama.  “There is my husband, the leader of the free world, outside, shirtless and shotgunning beers with a bunch of guys I have never seen in my life.  The White House is not a trailer park but you sure wouldn’t know it if
you came by that afternoon.”

Since the visit, President Obama has taken to referring to his wife as his “old lady” and has been trying to work the word “ain’t” into more of his speeches.  It is also reported that the White House is considering sponsoring a car for an upcoming race during the Chase for the Cup in order to promote his health care plan.