First off, I think if you name your beloved pet parrot Mikey then you are just asking for trouble. But evidently avid bird hunter Dennis Zeglin didn’t think this would be a problem and went ahead and pulled the trigger, literally. You see, Dennis’ bird…..hold on, Dennis’ wife’s bird was engaging in some idle useless chitchat during last season’s Pocono 500. Long story short, Dennis had enough, shot the bird with a BB gun and killed it, wife comes home, BLAMES DENNIS FOR THE WHOLE THING, gets mad and calls the cops, Dennis gets arrested, charged, and blah blah blah law stuff.
Enough about Dennis, let’s talk about me for a second. All I hear when Mikey, the driver, speaks is screeching so I don’t know what drove Dennis so mad that fateful day. Matter of fact, it’s probably that kind of unrelenting squawking and less focus on driving that sends Mikey Waltrip into the wall nearly week in and week out. ZING! Back to Dennis, I’ll bet he misses Mikey now. Who doesn’t love having a pet bird? I don’t have one but I can only imagine how great it is cleaning up poop off the bottom of the cage and trying to keep that goddamn thing from flying away every time you open the door to feed it. Sounds like a lot of fun.
In closing, I think Mikey probably died for a good cause because that wife probably left him after he shot her bird. If he thought Mikey’s screeching was bad, can you imagine what that wife sounded like when she came home? Good gravy! Jail must seem like a vacation. Dennis, I hope your cell mate isn’t a Jeff Gordon fan.



2 responses so far ↓
1 Memory 3 // Feb 5, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Hey now, my wife loves Mikey and because of that I get to watch all the Nascar I want, and drink a little hootch too. Now, that’s a deal, I don’t care who you are.
2 MARTEL!!! // Feb 4, 2010 at 2:44 pm
More beer, less Mikey. Period. By the way, does the wife needs any consolin’ an’ is she a NASCAR fan?
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