By Harley “Splash and Go” Coe

After the weekend that NASCAR calls the “Super Bowl of Racing” one thing is for sure, Bobby Labonte is better than four time defending champion Jimmie Johnson and perennial race for the chase participant Tony Stewart.  Look folks, don’t get mad at Ol’ Harley, I’m just stating the facts.  The proof is in the puddin’, just look at the standings!  Bobby Labonte sits in 21^st place in the Sprint Cup Standings while Tony Stewart and Jimmie Johnson sit in 23^rd and 35^th respectively.  Simple math, Bobby Labonte is better.

Now I don’t want all you Smoke and JJ fans to get all riled up and send me hate mail.  I don’t read half the crap you all send me anyway.  Heck, I don’t even like this website.  I just want to throw it out there that if Jimmie keeps this up, he might be finding himself outside of the Top 35 in points and having to race his way in to upcoming races with the likes of true “winners” such as former Daytona 500 winner Derrick Cope, David Gilliland and Front Row Joe Nemechek.

I know what some of you are thinking.  Harley, it is only week one, it doesn’t matter or Harley, we all know your love and affection for Bobby Labonte, you are just being a Homer.  Well I say hog-wash…Right now, with Harley’s math-e-matt-ix equations I am even willing to concede that Paul Menard is better than Bobby Labonte, sitting just two spots out of the chase!  As for it being only week one, well, I don’t get many chances to write and article like this so you all can just suck it.  As long as B.L. is ahead of JJ and Tony Stewart in the standings I am going to say he is better.

With all this said, I’m writing this article to not only tell you that Bobby Labonte is better than Tony and JJ, but that if you all want to jump ship and get on the B.L. bandwagon we are accepting applications!  I mean, who wouldn’t want to join his fan club (which can be found here http://www.bobbylabonte.com/fanclub.php) to get some nice #96 Ask.com gear.  I know what you’re thinking, Bobby drives the #71 Taxslayer.com car these days.  Well considering it has been four years of letter writing to Mr. Labonte and I have yet to hear from Bobby or his people, I am guessing they are too busy figuring out how to start and finish in the low 20’s each race to update their fan club website or reply to a simple letter asking to meet with his image consultants to design a t-shirt.  Just be patient I keep telling myself.

Anyway, I fully expect a box full of poop performance out of the #71 car this weekend at California so you all might be hearing from me next week talking about how Tony Stewart and Jimmie Johnson are better than Bobby.  Until then, Bobby’s only 31 points out from making the Chase and I have some war medals to polish so leave me alone.

Harley