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Entries Tagged as 'Texas'

It’sss Raining NASSSCAR Men, Hallelujah

April 8th, 2009 · No Comments

Hey there BFO fans, it’s time for another special report from Lance “French Tickler” and Frederick “Butter Cup” Witherspoon, NASCAR’s Most Fabulous Reporting Duo. 
Bonjour race fansss, we are reporting from the road and want to give you a warm welcome to another article of “Sasssinesss in NASSSCAR.”   Today we […]

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Tags: Texas

Displaced Crew Members Resort to Stripping

April 6th, 2009 · No Comments

Everyone in the NASCAR world has been having a pretty tough time financially as of late. So teams, faced with the idea of racing in the near future with decreased funding have made some drastic cuts to the number of employees in the race shops and pit crews.  With so many […]

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Tags: Texas

Otis Featherbean is Digging The Facial Hair

April 6th, 2009 · 1 Comment

Sporting some facial hair is the quickest way to let people know you mean business. Not only does it say “hey I’m rugged and manly,” it says, “listen folks, I certainly can’t be bother with shaving so I will have no problems at all sticking this stainless steel blade into your […]

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Tags: Otis Featherbean · Texas

Rednecks Demand Better Representation In NASCAR

April 3rd, 2009 · 2 Comments

There was a time not all that long ago where Rednecks ruled NASCAR.  The field of 43 for any given race Sunday was always filled with 43 men proud to call themselves Rednecks.  But times have changed.  Tune in to a NASCAR race on Sunday nowadays and try to find a Redneck […]

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Tags: Texas

NASCAR Raceday Crew Argues Over Who Knows More About Wrecking

April 7th, 2008 · 4 Comments

While discussing the wreck rookie driver Michael McDowell experienced during Sprint Cup qualifying on Friday, the crew from Speed Network’s NASCAR Raceday argued over who has the most experience wrecking their cars while traveling at a high rate of speed. Host John Roberts sat by helplessly as cohosts Jimmy Spencer, Kenny Wallace and […]

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Tags: Texas

McDowell Tests Newfound “Invincibility”

April 7th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Rookie driver Michael McDonald is uncertain how or when he acquired the superpower of invincibility, but he discovered his gift during qualifying for the Samsung 500 at Texas on Friday.
Science fiction expert Andrew “Spectacles” Finkelstien, despite his severe spring allergies and pressing deadlines on a PhD thesis disproving the popular science fiction convention of the […]

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Tags: Texas

DLP Sums Up Yeley’s Troubles: It’s the Mirrors

April 7th, 2008 · 1 Comment

J.J. Yeley brought out the fourth caution of Sunday’s Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway when he attempted to drive through the inside retaining wall of Turn 2.  As much as DLP executives wanted to see the 96 car in victory lane, they also admitted their sponsorship may have played a role in Yeley’s unfortunate wreck.
Prior to […]

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Tags: Texas

Harley “Splash and Go” Coe’s Guide to Texas

April 4th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Saddle up, cowboys, and let’s head to Texas for some NASCAR. I know you all look to ole Harley to help you fill out your weekend, and you do so for a darn good reason: I know the score. Fortunately, the race at Texas is one of my favorites of the whole season. […]

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Tags: Harley "Splash and Go" Coe · Texas

Letter from the Editor

April 3rd, 2008 · 10 Comments

Dear fans who love, hate, and love to hate Blackflaggedonline:
We at Blackflaggedonline are having a really difficult time telling if we are successful in our efforts to:
(1) offend you
(2) anger you
(3) make you laugh

Please remember that the comments sections exist so you can freely deride us with misspelled denigrations of our intelligence, […]

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Tags: Texas

Bill Elliott Refuses To Take Starting Command From A Woman

April 3rd, 2008 · 4 Comments

As Chrystal Butterbee took to the stage to give the starting command at Martinsville on Sunday, veteran driver Bill Elliott sat behind the wheel of his number 21 car with his arms crossed defiantly across his chest.  “The day I let a woman tell me what to do is the day you’ll see a pig […]

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Tags: Martinsville (Spring) · Texas

Environmentalists Trick Kahne Into “Going Green”

April 3rd, 2008 · No Comments

“Are you excited to go green?”  “Is your Dodge ready to go green?”  “Man those other drivers better look out when you go green, right?”
These may seem like innocent enough queries when they’re posed to Kasey Kahne by race fans like you or me, but when a group of radical environmental extremists asked Kahne the […]

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Tags: Texas

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